I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
