do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
