peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
