I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
