so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
