my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
