Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
