I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
