morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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