Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
