i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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