i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
