I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
