Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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