Is it because I queefed?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
