I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
