You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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