he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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