During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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