We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize