I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
