How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
