Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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