I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Are my feet made of real feet?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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