Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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