It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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