And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
