ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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