i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
