your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize