so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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