trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
