you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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