Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This house was built for laser tag.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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