sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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