my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
