The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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