As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
