basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
