i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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