And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
