I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
