i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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