nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize