she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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