do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
