I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
