Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
