does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
