Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
