dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize