how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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