It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
