When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
