You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
