normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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