Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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