laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You did what with his pubic hair?
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