After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
BRING THE BAGELS
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize