You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
